You may already know the Cultural adjustment curve that explains the different phases of a typical adjustment abroad.
- Phase 1 – Honeymoon / Excitement
- Phase 2 – Culture shock / Crisis
- Phase 3 – Adjustment – Recovery
- Phase 4 – Mastery – Integration
The duration of phases can vary depending on people and experiences.
Also, some people do not necessarily feel excitement (Phase 1) when moving abroad, especially if the destination was not initially chosen. The culture shock (Phase 2) is not felt as strongly by some people who seem to go directly into phase 3.
However, to me Phase 2 can appear at any time during the expatriation, even several years after the move.
I am Yuko Deneuville, cross-cultural trainer, mindset Coach and “serial expat” myself. I lived abroad as a young child in Japan, as a young adult in China and in the UK and now as a mom, spouse and entrepreneur in USA since 2015. And you know what? Each experience has been so different with its own challenges. Each experience is so different because of the context (child, teenager, young professional and single, couple or as a family) and environment.
I will share with you here three strategies that help me live my experiences abroad with serenity and confidence.
1 – It might sound basic but Learn about the other culture and even more if you feel like the culture is not that far from yours. I often have clients who think that American culture is not that far from theirs because they have been watching hollywood movies for many years or have travelled in the US several times. They come down to earth pretty quickly.
Learn the language if you can, it will help you to build relationships more easily. Be curious, try the food, learn about the habits, values. Ask questions. When we accept being the “student” and avoid the “I know it all” behavior, so much growing and learning occurs. See the gap between your culture and the culture there. What are your biases, stereotypes around the other culture? Do you know generalizations people might have around your culture?
2 – It is OK to have different emotions. Welcome them, don’t judge yourself for having emotions. It is normal to feel sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety at times. Your emotions come and go and they don’t define who you are. You are not your emotions. You are stronger and more resilient than you think.
You always have the choice how you are going to react towards certain challenges. If you are always at the mercy of external circumstances, your stress level will jump to the roof during each transition.
Knowing your automatic patterns helps. Do you tend to give up easily when you face a challenge? Or do you tend to see opportunities in challenging situations? Do you want everything to be perfect, otherwise you are not happy? Or do you tend to be grateful for small things everyday? We all have an energetic profile (we have 7 different energies in all of us), meaning we see life through our own filters based on our education and life experiences. It is very important to learn about the different energies, perspectives that are part of us because to be confident, it starts with self awareness. If you are curious about it, send me a private message to discover your own energetic profile.
3 – Have a project or goals for YOU.
Are you clear with your goals? What would you like to do in this new place? If you don’t know yet, the goal might be to gain clarity around what you want to live during this expatriation or in your life.
Perhaps you want to learn a new language? Improve public speaking, especially if you are in the US? Learn surfing, snowboarding depending where you live? Travel around the country? Have a successful local working experience? Create your business? Volunteer? Meet new friends? Ideally those goals would be in addition to being happy with your family. It would be something for YOU. Because happiness starts within and then, we can radiate happiness around us.
If you want to join the conversation and learn more about it, join the free webinar on November 15th “Write YOUR STORY abroad”at 10am EDT. If you can’t join live, still register to receive the replay.
This webinar is for you if you are planning to move abroad or if you already live abroad. I created this webinar to help you live this experience with happiness, fulfillment and serenity, wether you are travelling solo, as a couple or with your family.
I will be sharing with vulnerability and transparency some challenges we faced living abroad and how we overcame them.
I will also be sharing about special offers and answer all your questions.
I am looking forward to seeing you there!
With Serenity and Boldness,
Yuko